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Article 4
Death
Cristina Z. - Milan (Italy)
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Death is the stimulus driving mankind, since the
dawn of time, to seek the existence of a “Paradise”
or a “Continuation” after this life. If man, from
birth, believed himself to be immortal, how likely
would he be, and how much would he desire, to search
for contact with the transcendent?
Do
we have to wait until we are afraid that we
really are dying before we learn to live here and now,
or can we do something before that?
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One
morning, a few days ago, just before I got out of bed, I
closed my eyes for a moment and saw before me the image
of a gravestone, I tried to get a better look at it, and
at the top I saw my photograph, and on the right, at the
bottom, a bunch of flowers.
Imagine, my grave!!!
At
first I was astounded, and perhaps a little afraid, I
started to list all the ailments of the moment, to see
if I had overlooked something, if that little pain that
had troubled me so much three days previously was
perhaps something more serious that I had taken too
lightly.
Probably, if it hadn’t been for the Work we are doing
and for all the times we have read and heard about
“dying to yourself” I would have reacted differently,
but after a few seconds the shock and fear left me, and
the image of that grave remained before me, and
continues to remain.
Now
after that dream, which I am sure I did not have by
chance, I am trying to make more effort, trying to live
moments with greater intensity, to pay more attention to
the little things. I know that I should have done this
Work a long time ago, but all too often I forget that I
will die.
I
wondered:
After
what I have read, and especially after what our guide
has taught us, what have I “really managed to do”? Have
I managed, at least for a moment, to feel “dead”, to set
aside my pride, my selfishness, my jealousy, my need for
attention? Have I managed for a moment to feel “empty”
in order to listen to my beating heart, to hear the
voice of the Master, to hear a Friend’s whisper?
No, I
don’t think so. Or perhaps I have, but the voices inside
me drown out their voices.
Sometimes I hear a shout: “I’m here, wake up! Where are
you running to, what are you looking for out there, stop
a minute”. But it lasts a fleeting moment, and, taken up
in the whirlwind of daily life, I go back to my running.
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Have you ever thought about the
place where you will be buried? Try to imagine a
nice white gravestone, a frame with your most recent
photo in it, perhaps from your last holidays or from
your new identity card, and nearby, a lovely bunch
of flowers, your favourites, a |
nice
bunch of red roses brought for you by friends who loved
you so much. But think, before closing your eyes, did
you remember to embrace your partner, did you say
goodbye to your friends with a warm smile and no ill
feelings, did you say to your nearest and dearest “I
love you”, before “falling asleep forever” did you
remember to repeat His Name.
Jesus
said:
There
was a rich man with many goods. He said: “I will use my
riches to sow and reap and to plant trees and fill the
granaries with grain, until I lack nothing”. He thought
these things in his heart, but that night he died.
Only by
leaving the past behind us and learning to live to the
full in the present can we truly succeed in dying
without any regrets.
Death
is the key to open the door of faith, because by
throwing away all the things that we like so much we can
learn to feel, and to do what is really useful; not like
robots but like lovers following the scent of the Loved
one, and living in anticipation of joining Him.
My
friends, help me to remember that we are not immortal;
My
friend, help me to let myself go in the arms of the
Loved one, to open that door and pass over the threshold
that keeps me far from home.
Cristina Z.
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